Wonky is saying or sharing your thoughts, feelings, experiences, only to regret or second guess doing so a few minutes later and deleting a post on facebook or apologizing for a message sent. It is a constant state of wanting to do or say something, letting yourself, then being unsure, and often regretting the decision to let yourself go with your thoughts or feelings. It can be a bit maddening for the person in this state and I'm sure it is for those we interact with. Then there are those times when you let yourself say or share something and it feels absolutely right and good. Just never know which it will be.
Wonky is your love for Muay Thai and going to train but the whole time you are there you feel like you are an invader of the other team members space and not a team member yourself. Every partnership feels like and invasion of someone's space. Like your being there keeps others from getting what they came to class for. Other times it feels like you are right where you are supposed to be and deserve to be there as much as anyone else. Which will it be this time? You never know.
Wonky is deciding to lose weight, finding a plan that works, begin to lose weight, and then discovering that there is a lot more than food choices behind all those pounds. You have to figure out what to do in addition to this new program that is working to help you lose weight. You begin to add resources and do what is required to help you reach your gals. Find you need to make a mental shift from losing weight to being the healthiest person you can be. It takes a lot of physical and mental energy some days and you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Other moments you see that light and you dare anyone to get in your way as you plot your path towards it.
Wonky is having a high level of ability in your career and shifting from feelings of success and failure all day long. One moment you are in your element and this is your purpose and the next feeling like an imposter and incapable of providing what your clients and parents need.
Wonky is having a traumatic past that has messed with the life. You finally decide to do something about it. Go all in with a new therapy that has a high probability of helping and then switching between being grateful and horrified you are doing it several times a day.
Wonky is a state of searching, learning, discovering, deciding, changing, and hoping.
I think you get the idea. Wonky is often a state that comes with making changes. It is the state between the old and the new. How does a peson manage this stage? How do they keep from losing friends, learning what they need to learn, and ultimately living into the change they need to make? I think the answer is grace and goals. You have to give yourself the grace to transition. Transition is not easy and it is not something that happens all at once. I am a transition specialist for individuals on the Autism Spectrum. Primarily those ages 14-22 years old that are transitioning from High School into college or work. I know this stuff. It takes time and it takes having a plan in place with goals to reach for. Change requires time, plans, and grace.
Recently one of the coaches of the the nutrition program(stronger u nutrition) I am doing posted a video about values and goals and how to visualize them. I am a visual person and I loved the illustration. It took me weeks and weeks to work through a visual of my own though. I finally finished mine up yesterday. I'll post a photo below. I hope that if you find yourself in the state of wonky that reading this will help you relax a little and let this process of change play out. It will require action on your part but don't be surprised or thwarted by your feelings of being all over the place. It's part of the process. Being wonky means movement towards goals you've set. Don't stop and dont' despair. Buckle up, have some grace, set some goals, and let the wonky lead you right to the life you want to live.
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